Ever have that creepy but undefinable feeling in the dark? Not sure how to feel about something that you have seen? Think you should feel one way, but then feel a different way?
These experiences happen to almost everyone. However, some people have a hard time identifying most emotions. This is called Alexithymia, literally “no words for moods”.
If everyone has trouble putting words to emotions, why does this seem to cause a lot of problems for people with alexithymia? Well, when we can’t put words to our emotions, we have a hard time validating and resolving them.
Emotions can be invalidated in families where some emotions are not acceptable. If you were not allowed to feel sad when you were young, when you feel sad as an adult, you might get anxious about feeling sad or even deny that you feel sad. If you are not allowed to feel sad, you can’t allow sadness to do its job of adjusting to loss. If you are told to be self-sufficient and not properly comforted when you are wrong, it will be hard for you to feel or notice peaceful feelings when you become an adult. Not being allowed to have certain emotions when growing up is called the Racket System/Model.
Other people seem to have alexithymia naturally, such as people with Autism.
It is therefore important to be able to identify and name emotions. Feelings Wheel 2.0 can be very helpful in teaching and identifying emotions to treat alexithymia.